FUN.THEFT.EYELINER

Dear Internets,

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It’s end of year sale time, I’m officially outnumbered by testosterone in my home, and I’m feeling the shift. Firstly, cricket is constantly on in my home and lets face it, who really needs that? Secondly, my wardrobe selection has significantly decreased. Has there been a cosmic misalignment in the stars and would a greater belief in reading my star signs have given me hindsight? One of life’s many mysteries and no one will ever know.

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Looking back at photos, it’s clear that fashion thievery was rife in my family home. Theft is in my DNA.Tell me you wouldn’t see this jacket from Dangerfield and dinosaur tee from Forever 21 hanging in your sister’s closet on a cold day and instantly think to yourself “yoink![Note: that is my stealing things sound effect]. Add some gloves, Cotton On jeans, General Pants fanny pack, Disney scarf & beanie = you have yourself a recipe for a girl who has no recollection of her actual age. Perhaps that’s the memory issues from the granny in me acting up. It might double as a handy excuse when I forget to return things to the closets to which they belong.

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Clearly I am a firm believer in fashion being fun, inter familial theft, and eyeliner. I’m OK with that and given time, I’m sure my family will come to terms with my  (occasional) clothing kleptomania. If only I had the figure for a more androgynous style. My husband might find his wardrobe in serious jeopardy too.

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